Sometimes it’s tough being a family caregiver, especially when no one else in the family seems to be offering up their own time and energy to help out. Is it possible to change their minds about helping more? Possibly.
Determine to What Extent You Need Help
One mistake that family caregivers can find themselves making is that they don’t have a strong handle on what they need help with, exactly. If that’s the case for you, you need to sit down and start making a list and clarifying it. You might find that the help you need is beyond the type of help that you are likely to get from other family members. In that case, it makes sense to hire home care providers instead.
Split up Your Requests and Share the Wealth
Once you know what you need help with exactly, you can go about determining who to talk to about the situation. Asking one or two family members for help is not likely to net you the results that you want. You’ll need to break up tasks and spread them out among several family members. You’ll have smaller tasks and you’ll have a better chance of getting a “yes.”
Let Go of Your Expectations
It’s not uncommon at all to have a set of expectations about what is going to happen when you talk to other family members about offering up some help. The problem is, it’s easy to be disappointed when your expectations aren’t met. Before you even talk to your family members, let go of any expectation about their answers. Accept that a “no” is going to be just as helpful as a “yes,” because it allows you to make a decision and get a solution in place.
Accept that Another Solution Might Work Better
While it’s usually preferable to have other family members pitching in more often, that’s not always feasible. You may come to a point at which you need to accept that another solution may simply be better for everyone involved, your elderly loved one included. Again, this isn’t a bad thing at all. It allows everyone to help out to the extent that they can and it enables you to get the help that you need, even if that’s from external sources.
Gaining experience with caregiving will help you to understand more clearly what you and your loved one need in terms of extra help.